


Through The Looking Glass

by Skiewrites



Series: Wonderland [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Deep thinkin, Gen, Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Maybe - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Swearing, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, The Black Lion (Voltron) is a dick, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skiewrites/pseuds/Skiewrites
Summary: In the past two years, Shiro had been through a lot. From being abducted by aliens to becoming the leader of Voltron, there has been end to the weird, wacky and downright terrifying things that he has seen and done.Including now, sitting in front of an offline Black Lion in the middle of space. Somehow.But he couldn't stay here. He had things to do. He had to make sure his team was alright, he had to make sure that they survived to make it back home, so Lance could see Earth again, so Hunk could be happy with Shay, so Katie could reunite with Matt and Sam, so Keith could relax and be happy for once in his life.He couldn't do that here, stuck watching his team struggle and bleed and question and die all by themselves as they try and fix the situation they had all found themselves in.While he sat here, watching through a mirror.Part five of 'Wonderland' Series.





	1. 一

When Shiro open his eyes, he had thought he had crashed, at least, for a few seconds.

He wouldn’t say he was the most experienced with crashes, having been one of the better pilots that the Garrison had seen. They wouldn’t send a person who would most likely crash their expensive and flashy space shuttle into the face of a moon that they hadn’t properly explored yet.

That being said, he did crash that Galra escape pod onto Earth, and right next to the Galaxy Garrison, and right next to their training grounds, which was pretty unfortunate to say the least, as he didn’t get the most welcoming coming home party in the universe. But, he also didn’t crash into the sea or a country that didn’t speak English, Italian or Japanese, both of which have a pretty high chance of happening, so there were always the positives to look at, at least.

That did happen to be his one and only crash though.

Thus, he didn’t have the most experienced when it came to crashes, not according to the stories about Lance’s time at the Garrison, so he was glad that he didn’t crash.

He still didn’t know where he was.

He was surrounded by the depths of space, making him feel as if he was floating, but he was pretty sure that his feet were on the floor, supporting his weight. Around him were the stars that he wanted to visit since he was a child, practically begging him to come closer, to come visit and say hi.

This was the reason why he wanted to go to space.

It wasn’t the pay, though he doubted that he would get enough that would compensate for the situation he now found himself in. It wasn’t for the fame, not the glory, he saw little point in that. He didn’t get the same thrill that Keith did from flying, and he didn’t really care for finding aliens in space – though it seemed that they found him instead.

No, it was for the chance to fly with the stars.

To infinity and beyond.

He could stand there all day staring at the stars in front of him, something he would do at night back on Earth, from when he was a child with his Otosan* in the small balcony in Tokyo with a new space book, to sitting on top of the Garrison’s main building with Keith when neither of them could sleep due to the anticipation of the mission. There were the bright reds that shone with passion, the calm yellows that emits small smiles, brilliant blues that lull his soul and vibrant greens that hid the answers to the universe that he, that all of them, desperately needed and sort for.

Maybe they can tell him where he was?

It wasn’t space, he would be dead by now, as his helmet was missing, though he was in his armour. However, he didn’t think he was in the afterlife, something about it make it seem that that couldn’t be the right answer.

Unless he was in denial.

He hoped not.

This is why people shouldn’t go into unstable wormholes. Anything could happen, and that was never a good thing.

He couldn’t be dead, right?

What about the others? Were they okay? did they make it through the wormhole okay? Were they safe?

Were they alive?

Shiro’s mind was racing, with more questions filling his mind every second. He could feel his breath being to pick up, becoming faster and shallower – panicking, he was panicking. He needed to stop panicking, but the others were in trouble and he was stuck here, in the middle of nowhere (everywhere?), where couldn’t help them.

How was he supposed to be a good leader when he didn’t even know where he was?

It wasn’t until a deep purr filled his mind that he opened his eyes again (when did he close them?), his breaths becoming less shallow with every intake.

The Black Lion.

Turning around, Shiro squinted his eyes to look for signs of the Black Lion, but he was met with a blank when he didn’t see her.

Where was she?

Stumbling forward, Shiro began to start walking. He didn’t know where he was going, it wasn’t like he had a map of the place, nor did he think he had ever visited this weird warped version of outer space.

Just following the pull of the Black Lion, seeing if that got him anywhere.

Is this what the others felt as they searched for their Lions?

 

* * *

 

 

Left.

Left.

Left.

Right.

Left.

Shiro wondered how long he had been walking for.

He knew it had been a while since he started to follow the bond between himself and the Black Lion, but how long was that? A minute? A day? It was hard to tell when the only thing he could see was the stars, twinkling as bright as they were.

He was already set into the rhythm of walking, the way that one foot fell in front of the other reminded him of matching at the Garrison, of how everything was set in time with one another.

Left.

Left.

Left.

Right.

Left.

It was almost therapeutic, in a way. Maybe it was the repetitive routine, or maybe it was the simple reminder of what he used to have back on Earth, back before any of this started.

Maybe it was the feeling that he was something, even if he was just walking into the abyss.

Maybe it will say hi.

(Shiro hoped it would.)

(Matt would totally laugh at him for the situation that he was in.)

(Shiro really missed him.)

(Shiro hoped Matt was okay.)

Left.

Left.

Left.

Right.

Left.

Where was Black?

Why was she so far away?

 

* * *

 

 

Shiro stopped.

He didn’t know how long he had been walking, but he knew that it had been way too long. He should be tired by now, he hadn’t slept since before the failed mission, and even then, he wouldn’t even call it sleep, barely getting four hours before nightmares infected his dreamless rest was not sleep.

He should he hungry, thirsty, having achy muscles, feeling cramps and stiches with the speed that he had been walking at.

But no, he was stood in the middle of space, still, and seemingly no closer to the Black Lion than he probably was before.

Even the stars hadn’t moved.

What was he thinking? The stars didn’t move!

This was getting ridiculous.

What was he going to do?

Going forward obviously wasn’t to do anything, it wasn’t even making him tired. Standing still, or sitting down, wouldn’t do anything for the situation, the cost of inaction is far greater than the cost of making mistake.

He didn’t have anything on him, no Bayard like the others, no knife or crazy accurate instincts like Keith, no technology on hand or speed like Pidge, no positive thinking and the photographic memory from Hunk, no out-of-the-box thinking and attention to small details like Lance.

Shiro was lucky to have such a brilliant and talented team, and he was certain that, if any of his teammates were here right now, they’d know what to do.

They’d manage to get themselves out of anything. It was Keith that first found the Blue Lion, that found him and led the others to the small shack in the middle of the desert. It was Lance that not only helped them get away from Earth, but noticed that the bot was a bomb in the nick of time. Hunk not only stepped up when the Bulmerians needed them the most, but made sure that the team was high in moral. Pidge was the one that helped to take back the castle, the one to hack into multiple databases to get the information that they needed.

All he did was bring them all together, leading them as the head of Voltron.

So now he was at a crossroad, where lots of the paths that he thought he could have gone down were now out of the question.

He couldn’t go forward, there was nothing ahead for him.

He couldn’t stay here, not when there was something he could do.

There was nothing to fight, no obvious problem to solve to get out of here, no door that held a flashing sign ‘THE EXIT IS RIGHT THROUGH HERE :]’.

He really needed one of those doors one of these days.

Maybe he should go back, and check if he didn’t already pass the door, but had just been too zoned out to noticed.

Sighing, the Black Paladin of Voltron turned around to face the direction he had just come from, but instead of taking a step like he had planned, his eyes only widened in shock as a single word left his lips in a whispered breath.

“Black.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Otosan – Father
> 
> With the left right thing, that’s what we say in drill to keep in time, and I think drill is totally up Shiro’s alley, sooooooo.
> 
> Okay, some of you may have noticed that I was suppose to update 'The Sensation Of Falling' a couple of weeks ago? Well, that isn't going to happen for the next few updates, mainly because I now have an updating schedule (of the order, not the time...) of the whole series as it's interlinked.
> 
> Another thing, when I say that this story is part five, I mean that there are three other stories that go in between. No, you haven't missed any stories and no, you don't need them to understand this one. You can read all of them in any order, and this is the one that just so happens to be published first.


	2. 二

Shiro let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding at the sight of the Black Lion, _his Lion,_ standing tall and proud in front of him with the backdrop of colourful, twinkling stars.

No matter how many times he piloted her, he doubted he would ever get over her beauty, as it was as if she was absorbing all the light from the stars behind her and somehow became brighter than all of them, despite the wearing black paint that somehow sparkled without a direct light source. She was standing in the same way that he first saw her, at attention, waiting for someone to approach and give her a challenge, giving off an air that told the challenger that she would win, no matter what she threw at her.

Out of everything about his Lion, Shiro reckoned that it was her pure stubbornness to never give up that he liked the most about her.

(Most of the time. Sometimes it got in the way of the mission, and it was hard to change her mind about something, but they worked through it.)

(They always have up until this point.)

Walking closer to the mechanical beast, his eyes swept over every scratch of her paint that showed the dull metal beneath, over the small dents and burn marks that she had gained over their battles. Not all of them from them from the last couple of months fighting against the Galra, no, most of them were from before his time as her Paladin. Despite the scratches and burns and dents from her original Paladin, whoever they may have been, it was obvious that she had been well cared for by them, if the multiple coats of paint and the well-oiled gears up until they died (or disappeared, the Alteans weren’t really clear as to what happened to them) gave any indication.

When Shiro had walked close enough to be less than an arm’s length away from the Black Lion, he slowly stretched his arm out, feeling like one of those kids at a museum who don’t listen to the sign and touch the item anyway, but pause when his flesh was less than an inch away from her.

Something was wrong.

It hit him like a lightning bolt, and now Shiro was in close vacancy to the Black Lion, he could feel it roll off her like a heartbeat, steady and strong, as if the feeling that was coming out of her was the same thing that was keeping her alive. Frowning, he pulled his arm close to his side, clenching his fists as he gritted his teeth. It was only when he looked up at the Lion’s face that Shiro noticed her dull eyes and the missing blue lights that usually sat on the side of her face.

“Is everything okay, Black?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them, internally cringing at the tone of his voice and how weird and pathetic it sounded, like he was home alone with a baby or something. He never felt entirely comfortable with talking aloud with his lion, not in the same way that Lance, Hunk or even Pidge were able to hold a seemingly one-sided conversation without it seeming awkward.

(Shiro had never seen or heard Keith have a conversation with the Red Lion, and it made wonder if he felt as awkward as he did. But, the again, Keith sometimes couldn’t even hold a conversation with another person, let alone a sentient mechanical lion, not with spoken words at least. Maybe they communicated differently?)

There was no response from the Black Lion, not that Shiro expected one anyway. The others never seemed fazed by the constant lack of response from their Lions, ready to continue with what they were saying. While Shiro, who was stuck in a place that didn’t seem to physically exist with seemingly nobody else, was too awkward to hold a one-sided conversation, even when there was no one to walk in on him.

(Okay, now it just sounds like his trying to do something either illegal or sexual.)

(This is not the kind of example he wants to the others to look up to.)

(Ugh, why is this so hard?!)

“So, um, I take it that something’s wrong then.” Shiro replied, tripping over his words slightly as he felt blood heat up his face in a light blush.

He survived fighting to the death in the arena for the entertainment of a blood thirsty race, protect and lead four teens in a war against an empire with only two aliens as their allies, some well-earned PTSD and use a glowing prosthetic arm as a weapon as well as a key to hack into some technology.

But god forbid that he able to comfortably talk to what is currently an inanimate object.

And, of course, there is no response from the Black Lion.

“Could you open up, please?” Shiro smiled awkwardly at the Lion, only for it to fall when there was again no response. Taking a step back, he looked up at his Lion’s face, the way that her dull eyes were now staring at nothing, but seemingly everything at the same time, reminding him of the Blue Lion before Lance activated her, except, this time round, there was no protective particle barrier stopping him from approaching the Lion anyway.

Now that he thought about it, though, has she ever used her particle barrier in the time that he has seen her? Even when he first saw her, she had her barrier’s down, and had just been locked in the hangers, which didn’t sound as protected as a particle barrier (even when you needed all four of the Lions to unlock the door).

(He should probably ask Allura about that.)

So, by the looks of it, she’s offline, for some unknown reason, as, from what Shiro had gathered, they hadn’t crashed at all.

Or maybe they had crashed, and they were both dead?

No, that wasn’t right, they couldn’t have crashed, or, he couldn’t be dead as the Black Lion was here and he was about 84% sure that the Lion didn’t have a soul, despite it being sentient, meaning that he couldn’t be in Hell (or Heaven of he was really lucky and God decided to ignore everyone he killed in the arena).

Or he was in Hell and this was his torture.

(His stomach felt heavy with that thought.)

_“Okay, this isn’t funny anymore Black. Where’s Shiro?”_

Turning his head to the side, Shiro’s eyes widened as he stared at the figure to the side of the Black Lion, his lungs beginning to gasp for air as he made eye contact with the other person, but getting the strange impression that the other person’s gaze went straight through him and his soul and was looking into the depths of space that laid behind him.

“Hunk?” Shiro breathed, his limbs almost shaking with anticipation as he slowly walked towards the Yellow Paladin, who held a look of confusion and frustration on his face.

This couldn’t be Hell, as there was no way that sweet innocent Hunk would be even allowed to enter if he died, as he doubted that he did anything that wasn’t forgivable by Him.

So, where was he then?

It didn’t take Shiro very long to stop in front of his fellow Paladin, standing close enough that he should have seen Hunk smile at his presence, and loudly exclaim about how glad he was to see him right now.

He didn’t get any of that, not even a look of recognition, but a stare that stabbed straight through his head and went on to the stars in the distance.

It hurt, knowing that he was invisible to the Yellow Paladin, but not the Black Lion, who didn’t even respond to him.

_“Shiro? Where are you, bro?”_

At the same time, Shiro tried to place his shaky human hand on Hunk’s shoulder, to show him that he was there, even if he was unseen, only for it to fall through the air as if swiping an illusion away, clearing the air of the fake and making the real visible, leaving him in space with only an offline ship and thousands of twinkling stars of all the colours of the window.

He sighed as he turned to look back at the dull eyes of the Black Lion, lifelessly reflecting the stars around them.

Shiro had never felt so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so i may have said that Lance was going to be this week, but since Christmas was also this week, I haven't been writing my usual stories. So, here's some Shiro (and Hunk, kinda...) instead.
> 
> Okay, so I am 100% sure that Lance 1 will be published next week, and it's also due on FF.net, and I have finally got an uploading schedule for that story, which will be every Saturdays with some exceptions. For those who read 'All the Colours of the Wind', (the one that Lance was raised a druid), then I will be uploading every other week on mondays, and 'Of Different Origins' (my tokyo ghoul fic about Kaneki and Eto's friendship) will be uploaded every month on a friday - for more info about updates, visit my tumblr!
> 
> Happy New Year!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [here!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/skiewrites)


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